I Don't Make Mistakes, I Date Them

A pattern, dressed up as a choice.

You see the red flags. You wave back. You tell your friends "this one's different" and your friends say "mhm" because they love you and they're tired. Six weeks later you're back at the same brunch with a new story and the same haircut.

Heavyweight off-white cotton. Hand-drawn red print on the back. Oversized — fits over the last one's hoodie you definitely returned.

Wear it to: the bar where it started, the bar where it ended, your friend's "I told you so" dinner, first dates with someone who seems suspiciously normal. Don't wear it to: claim you've changed.