I Flirt As A Joke And Panic When It Works

A confession in t-shirt form.

The plan was never to be taken seriously. The plan was never to be taken at all. And now they're laughing at your joke and looking at you a little too long and you're realising you don't actually know what comes after this part.

Heavyweight off-white cotton. Hand-drawn red print on the back. Oversized, in case you need somewhere to hide for a second.

Wear it to: the party where they'll definitely be, the smoking area, the long walk home you're taking on purpose, brunch with people who already know the story. Don't wear it to: pretend you're chill about it.