8 Billion People And I'm Single

A statistical impossibility, lived in.

Math is a science. The numbers say at least 400 million people should be a match. The numbers don't know about your standards, your schedule, or whatever you did at that party in March that you still don't talk about.

Heavyweight off-white cotton. Hand-drawn red print on the back. Oversized, in case all eight billion show up at once.

Wear it to: weddings, your cousin's "when are you settling down" dinner, the gym, anywhere a stranger might make eye contact. Don't wear it to: imply you're actually looking.