Everything I Love Is Illegal, Expensive Or Blonde

A taste profile. And a problem.

The pattern goes: you find something. It's perfect. It's also a felony, a second mortgage, or already standing at the bar with someone else. You tell yourself this is the last time. It is not the last time.

Heavyweight off-white cotton. Bold red print on the back. Oversized — because the things you love don't fit either.

Wear it to: places you can't afford, parties you weren't invited to, the bar where the blonde works, anywhere you've been warned about. Don't wear it to: explain yourself.